“Home is knowing. Knowing your mind, knowing your
heart, knowing your courage. If we know ourselves, we're always home, anywhere.” Glinda the Good Witch
Life Solutions Overview
Telka's Life Solutions has been revised and updated numerous times
to reflect the latest improvements in Solution-Focused
Cognitive Behavioral Psychology.
Clinical research confirms that thoughts have a physiological impact
on emotions and behaviors behavior.
1. Lives consist of a series of choices.
Learning, coping, and healing, are all choices.
2. People may not always choose what happens to them:
(health problems, financial hardship, loss, betrayal, violence, natural disaster.. )
but people do choose their response to what happens to them.
3. New responses may be learned to replace previous responses.
4. People create their own experiences based on their core beliefs, inner thoughts.
5. Change your thoughts, heal your life
Why the ruby slippers?
The ruby slippers represent the concept of personal power within.
“Home is knowing.
Knowing your mind,
knowing your
heart,
knowing your courage.
If we know ourselves,
we're always home, anywhere.”
Glinda the Good Witch
Telka's
Life Solutions
Stress Management Series
has two components:
1. This written workbook material.
2. Interaction with the workbook material
through discussion and practical application.
To succeed in Life Solutions you do not
just read the workbook.
You live the workbook.
Most self-help and other change-oriented
programs fail because people use them as a
defense mechanism against change.
“Well, I read the book, what more do you want?”
I want you to become a teacher.
Teach everything you learn in Life Solutions
to someone else.
Program Basics
1. Using the workbook: Change your Thoughts, Heal Your Life, includes tools to enhance your personal growth. You cannot practice new skills if you are too sick, too tired, or too stressed to comprehend new ideas. In week #1 Beginning Life Changes, I have included the “Creating the Best Results" inventory to ensure maximum results. Refer back to the inventory throughout the workbook. It is a very basic tool for you.
2.Self-rated tests: This workbook includes several self-rated tests. Complete each test then retake the tests as often as you like. Note the progress you are making.
3.Basic beliefs: The term "emotional health" refers to your affect (feelings) matching your life events (stress level). Something good happens, good feelings. Something bad happens, bad feelings. Sometimes emotions are unstable or they lead to self destructive actions. As life gets harder, healthy coping skills become more necessary. This program differentiates between healthy responses to stress (which require improved coping skills), and mood disorders (which require improved coping skills plus a medical evaluation). Changes in both thought and action are necessary for emotional healing. Emotional health allows you to create the life you desire.
* Responsible means: able to choose your response.
* Make decisions based on your values, not based on your emotions.
* “Be the change you seek.” Ghandi. Only action transforms knowledge into wisdom.
4. Participate. This workbook is interactive. “Begin with the end in mind.” Stephen Covey. Create a personal agenda for yourself for each section of the workbook. You will gain from the workbook exactly what you put into it.
5. Own YOUR healing. Focus on your inner direction, your choices and your change. You may try to escape and avoid your painful emotional work by instead blaming your parents, your partners, or your past. Blame is the opposite of insight. Don’t get detoured onto the blame highway. Focus on yourself.
6. Remain free of alcohol and drug abuse while using this workbook. Yes, you read that correctly. You may take medications as prescribed, but mood altering with alcohol or illegal drugs will stunt your progress. Seek and complete addiction recovery before resuming this workbook if you are unable to stop abusing a mood altering substance.
7. Be open to change. "A mind is like a parachute, it only functions when it's opened." James Dewar
8. “Problems were never solved with the same type of thinking that created them.” Einstein.
9. “It’s not what happens to you that determines how far you will go in life; it is how you handle what happens to you.”
Zig Ziglar
10. Breathe, Relax………..Enjoy
are designed to light the path toward self-healing.
With her cognitive-behavioral services participants learn:
* How to identify, experience, learn,
and then let go of emotional pain.
* How to identify bad habits and
the negative thoughts that created them.
*How to replace bad habits with healthy coping skills.
* How to make life healing, life balancing decisions.
*How to become that wise and loving soul
who you have been waiting for your entire life.
" I'll provide the map.
You decide when to begin the journey. "
Telka Arend-Ritter L.M.S.W., A.C.S.W.
Telka's Solution Focused Services
include a combination of:
Cognitive therapy:
Change your thoughts, emotions follow.
Behavioral therapy:
Choose the behavior, choose the consequence.
Solution Focused Therapy:
What you focus on, grows
Cognitive Dissonance Theory:
Align actions with values to reduce stress
Biological/Neurochemical Approach
Understand the role of brain chemistry, genetics and medical diagnosis
to effectively treat mood and behavior problems
AA 12-step philosophy:
Acknowledging that our lives have become unmanageable&
using a power greater than ourselves to assist in a recovery process.
Law of Attraction:
Thoughts held in mind, produce after their kind
Treatment material is inspired and influenced by the following:
*Alcoholics Anonymous
*Mitch Albom's, Tuesdays with Morrie
*Brian Andreas StoryPeople
*Mary Ellen Copeland
* The Course in Miracles
*Steven Covey
* Wayne Dyer
*Eckhart Tolle
*Michael J Fox
*Victor Frankl
* Louise Hay
*Harold Kushner
*Anne Lamott
*Jill Bolte Taylor
*Christopher Reeves
*Caroline Myss
*Iyanla VanZant
*What the Bleep Do We Know?
*Marianne Williamson
Frequently asked Questions "Can I enroll in Telka's program with my spouse, family member or friend?"
Telka prefers group members participation to remain anonymous, therefore she recommends that family and friends register for different time slots of the program. Telka also offers her treatment model in con-joint and family therapy treatment for those who prefer to hand pick selected people to attend the program with them. Copies of Telka's 11-week self-help workbooks are also available for purchase online and at SBS to create private small group and home study programs.
"What if I don't really want to attend a group or seminar, can I still work with Telka on healing my life and making changes?"
Yes. In addition to running groups and presenting seminars, Telka maintains a full-time private practice serving individuals and couples with her solution-focused, cognitive-behavioral treatment approach. Telka specializes in treating mood disorders such as depression and anxiety, as well as stress related issues like divorce adjustment, career burnout, parenting concerns, relationship problems, low self-esteem and grief and loss. Telka also has considerable experience in treating addictions, dual diagnosis issues, and self-defeating behavior problems such as over-eating and spending problems.
"What are the benefits of attending a group instead of individual therapy?"
People who prefer group therapy are those interested in building a social network, gaining support from peers and those who enjoy the intimacy of a small group setting. Because Telka's groups are solution focused, members feel inspired and motivated by shared interaction. Telka's groups also serve as a nice transition from dependence on long-term individual therapy into living independently and confidently with self-healing and community support.
"What if I try a group but don't think it is meeting my needs?"
Telka's treatment services operate on the philosophy of creating "win/win". If you decide you would rather receive help in a different format, you simply withdraw from the group. You only pay for the sessions you attend. There are no extra fees or penalties for changing your mind. Telka will help you create a new individualized plan of action by discussing other treatment options available.
"Can I purchase the book without attending a group or seminar?"
Yes. Telka's program has been healing lives for over 15 years, but it is not for everyone. Some people prefer to purchase the workbook for self-study or for work with their own therapist. Health care providers and educators often purchase the book as a professional resource. Couples purchase the book for a self-help tool to improve their relationship. The book may be purchased through this website, at The Student Book Store in East Lansing and at Telka's East Lansing office.
"My staff could greatly benefit from some of Telka's Life Solutions topics. How could I use the program as training for my employees?"
Telka offers her 11 topics as training seminars and also creates customized material to meet your specific needs. Groups rates are available. Simply contact Telka directly to receive her seminar options.
"Could I register my teenager for Telka's group?"
Sorry, not at this time. Although Telka has facilitated behavioral groups for teens in the past, she now reserves group format for those 18 and older. Telka recommends that parents enroll in Life Solutions, then teach the material to their teens and use the tools to improve their family dynamics and interpersonal relationships. Many parents purchase an extra workbook for other family members to conduct a self-help home study program.
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Introduction to
Life Healing , Life Changing,
Solution Focused Therapy Services
Change your thoughts, heal your life.
The original version of Telka's 11-week program was developed in 1989 when solution focused, cognitive-behavioral (SFCB) therapy was gaining popularity as an effective short-term treatment method replacing the more traditional long-term psychoanalytic “problem focused” approaches.
After traveling the Midwest training other mental health professionals in her short-term, cognitive behavioral approach, Telka decided to offer the same life changing information directly to her patients. The idea of "Life Solutions Stress Management Series" was born.
Telka's unique treatment program has been revised and updated to combine her cognitive-behavioral model with the most recent biological and neurochemical treatment philosophy.
Today, "Telka's Life Solutions" is a successful 11-session group and individual treatment program that addresses the most challenging issues:
* Mood disorders: Depression, Anxiety, PTSD.
* Relationship problems.
* Anger.
* Stress.
* Self-defeating behaviors: eating, spending, shopping.
* Poor self-esteem, passivity.
* Dealing with difficult people.
* Inability to forgive.
* Problems with letting go of the past.
"....Before we can even begin to figure out what we need to do, we need to figure out who we are. We need to look at what drives us, what terrifies us, what angers us. We need to ask “why”. As we begin to do this, we start to become self-directed rather than world-directed. Just by looking within ourselves and asking “what” and “why”, we take a step towards freedom. Once this is done, we can begin to clear our filter of the outdated and unhelpful behavioral conditioning. After all, who wants to address the world at 45 using impulses programmed into us at age 5? By removing these obstructions from our filter, we liberate ourselves from the past and gain the freedom and clarity of purpose that is our birthright. Telka Arend-Ritter offers a means to this end. Her excellent program is designed to pinpoint and clear away these obstructions, ultimately healing the hidden parts of us that drive our stress, discontent, and unhappiness. By following the course outlined in this book, anyone can shed the chains of the past and enable the creation of a brilliant, unrestricted future; a future where they can express their authentic self, where the pressures of the world evaporate, and where life can slow down once again...."
Colleen Deatsman, M.A. author of Inner Power and Energy For Life.
"I believe that the Life Solutions book is a great source for both the mental health practitioner as well as any client who participants in the program that uses this book as a teaching tool."
Frank Van Goethem, LLP, LCW
"Telka Arend-Ritter's Life Solutions Stress Management Series is an easy-to-read, easy- to- understand series that provides much needed personal insights by helping individuals develop the necessary skills to heal emotional wounds, resolve conflict, improve relationships, and much more. Its chapters inspire animated discussion and "ah-hah" moments on issues that everyone faces such as anger, stress, worry and fear. It was invaluable toward helping me change my thought patterns about aspects of my life past and present."
Anne Stoneham Serotkin
Lansing area freelance writer
"I have had years of traditional therapy where I paid a therapist who just listened and nodded. I didn't think therapy could be so life changing until I took Life Solutions. What a difference! I wish I had taken it years ago."
Anonymous therapy group member
"Life Solutions made me think. I couldn't make excuses for my self-defeating behaviors anymore. I was ready to make a change, and Life Solutions showed me how."
Anonymous therapy group member
The Fly In The Window
I begin many of my seminars and services with a story that I once heard a long time ago. The story continues to influence my work as a therapist. I refer to this story as, The Fly in the Window:
Picture in your mind, a small housefly tapping its little wings against a large glass window. On the other side of the glass, is freedom. So close, just inches away, but a little fly cannot break through solid glass. Not one to give up, the fly bangs and buzzes against the window. Its little wings flutter futilely against every inch of the perimeter, seeking escape. Buzz, buzz, bang! Buzz, buzz, bang!
Over and over. The buzzing. The banging.
The fly repeats the only strategy it knows-banging the glass.
“The Definition of Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over, but each time expecting different results.” Alcoholics Anonymous
Try as it might, that little fly cannot buzz through solid glass. Eventually, the buzzing stops. The little fly’s body lies at the bottom of the windowsill.
Now imagine yourself stepping back, away from the window. Creating this distance allows you greater perspective. From your new vantage point, you are able to see more clearly. You see something you did not notice before. Just three feet away from the fly in the window, you now see a door…
…And that door is wide open.
* Solution-focused therapy provides the tools necessary for emotional healing.
* Cognitive-behavioral therapy promotes changes in both thought and action.
Therapy participants learn how to replace self-defeating behaviors with coping skills.
There is an open door.
Let's go through it together.
Telka
"What’s a Telka?"
Telka Arend-Ritter, a licensed Masters level social worker for the state of Michigan, is the behavioral therapist who wrote and facilitates a unique short term, solution-focused, cognitive-behavioral therapy program for the treatment of relationship problems and mood disorders. Telka is a native of Michigan, graduate of Michigan State University, and a former adjunct faculty member of Lansing Community college.
Telka worked as a behavioral therapist at Sparrow Hospital from 1987 until she left to work full time in her private practice in 2008. Telka is often asked to clarify the origin of her unusual name. Her response is not complicated. “Nothing ethnic, exotic, or even interesting. My parents were students at U of M in the 60’s.”
"How much do Telka’s services cost?"
• Telka’s individual, couple and group therapy sessions are billed as outpatient treatment for stress, depression, anxiety and other emotional pain. The cost is covered by most major insurance plans under the outpatient mental health benefit. Contact your insurance company to determine your benefit and coverage.
•Telka’s educational training and seminars are available to professional organizations at negotiated contracted rates.
•Telka’s private pay Life Coaching fees are negotiated based on specific needs.
"How do I register for individual counseling services ?"
Telka schedules her own appointments. You can either call her office to leave a confidential voice message or send a confidential email.
To expedite services, leave the following information in your message:
Full name, phone number, email address and or mailing address, employer and insurance coverage. Also indicate if you are seeking individual, couple or group services.
Will Telka counsel my teenager?
Due to a high demand for services, Telka limits her treatment to adults. However, she does advise and coach parents about how to become more therapeutic with teenagers. As a former college adolescent psychology instructor and former adolesent therapist, Telka uses her knowledge and expertise to help parents become more effective mentors, role models and parents. Click here to link to a 12 minute video explaining why teenagers are impulsive and risk taking.
"We are looking for a therapist to help us improve our relationship, but we have tried couple's therapy before and had a bad experience. What is Telka's philosophy in working with couples?"
Happily married since 1985, Telka's success with relationship issues is reflected in both her personal life and her professional services.
Telka insures therapeutic success by using a pre-screening process to determine if couple's are appropriate to begin therapy together. Answer yes or no these questions:
Yes No 1.Are either of you feeling distressed or frustrated with alcohol or drug usage?
Yes No 2. Do either of you fear emotional or physical abuse?
Yes No 3. Is a third party involved in this relationship?
Example: An affair, an unresolved prior relationship, internet relationships?
Yes No 4. Are either of you intending to use your couple's therapy as a forum to complain about or tattle on your partner? Examples: seeking therapy to change your partner or enlisting a therapist to referee your fight.
Yes No 5. Are either of you involved in destructive activity that damages the trust in this relationship? (Compulsive lying, excessive spending or gambling, adultery, porn addiction, temper outbursts or violence, illegal activity)
Yes No 6. Have either of you decided to end this relationship rather than to repair it? (Is the threat of a break-up used as a weapon for power or control?
Scoring: "Yes" answers indicate the need for an individual evaluation. Couple's therapy is most successful after issues of alcohol, drugs, affairs, domestic violence and illegal activity are resolved.
"Will I have to listen to everybody else’s problems if I enroll in Telka's 11-session group? "
Telka's approach focuses on solutions, choices, and empowerment. Her groups are structured to provide the tools necessary to solve life’s problems. The group topics and discussions are goal directed. Problems are shared for the purpose of seeking solutions. The group interaction is insightful and inspirational. Participants report feeling motivated, validated, and supported rather than burdened or judged.
"How do I know if Telka's services are right for me?"
Telka can help you make that decision. She will work with you to evaluate your individual needs and discuss your personal goals. If her services are not affordable or her treatment approach is not the best fit for you, she will facilitate a referral to the appropriate resources. Telka has been networking within the tri-county area for over 25 years. She often assists with referrals to intensive substance abuse services, 12-step programs, community based non-profit agencies, Michigan Rehabilitation Services, Greenpath, area church groups and other mental health professionals.
More Questions?
